I KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

I can't even tell you how excited I am. I'm mentally dancing like Snoopy. For many people it would be a curse, but for me it's just fabulous, because it explains almost everything -- all the digestive problems the GI and the nutritionist couldn't figure out, the dizzy spells, the constant fatigue, my atypical asthma, the stuffy cough I have year-round, maybe even the extra-dark circles I've always had under my eyes and some of my joint problems.

And what is it, this fabulous thing? I am allergic to wheat. ( See? Bad for most people, good for me! )

And in closing: YAY!

BTW, tonight is the premiere of PBS' new series Time Team America. Obviously, it is based on Channel 4's Time Team, which has been running for 16 years or so. I was so excited when I heard they were making this that I actually squealed.

I've seen the first episode, about Roanoke (it's been on the website for a while as a preview), and I enjoyed it muchly. I have some quibbles with what they've chosen to change from the original, but they are minor, and I am picky. They did make some exciting finds. I can't wait to see how the rest of the season goes, though IIRC they only made 5 episodes or so. (They did the same with History Detectives at first. In fact, HD and TTA are both produced by Oregon Public Broadcasting, which can only be a good sign.)

If you have any interest in archaeology or in US history, you might want to take a look.

( More rodentia. Don't worry, everyone's fine! )

*

I'm going to the doctor this afternoon about the dizzy spells. I think I know what it is, but we'll see.

PG-13. Sam/Jack UST, original team. S8. Fluffy. 3287 words.

"On the plus side, Anubis had no way to find them, either."

Past the Breakers and the Markers

ETA: I neglected to mention that this is going to be one of my cliche_bingo stories, for the "If Only You'd Notice Me: Yearning and Obliviousness" square.

Finally -- beautiful weather! I spent virtually all of Friday and yesterday outside and a lot of that time exercising, because, as you might recall, I photosynthesize, and the weather had not presented me with any opportunities for weeks. I was beginning to wilt.

Today I spent a quiet morning on my porch, editing a story (which I'll post tonight or tomorrow*). Then I went out to lunch, went grocery shopping, and went to the gym for a swim. Swim was lovely until, at about half a mile (which is less than my usual), I started to feel like I might pass out. And I'm not even using that as a metaphor, I really felt like I might lose consciousness and sink at any second. This was a new and not exciting experience for me. Got out, stumbled home without showering off the chlorine (typed "caffeine" first, hmm), had some veggie juice and a lot of hummus (protein!), and still feel a bit like I might pass out. WTF? I don't feel ill, just incredibly lightheaded. And the headache and sore neck and shoulders that had driven me to the pool are still there.

Which all adds up to this: I deserve a nap, and I'm going to take one.

* poohmusings and splash_the_cat: I finally said fuck it and went back (mostly) to the original version.

I swear I just heard a rooster outside my house.

We have a lot of strange things in this neighborhood, but generally, farm animals are not among them.

?

Here are some things I think you should see.

1. I saved the best for first: from BoingBoing, Persepolis, the 2009 version. You can download it as a PDF, too! I would like to know how Satrapi feels about this sort of thing, but I like it.

2. From an archaeo newsfeed, Hey, look! Paleolithic women did more than lie around and reproduce. What a shocker!

3. From Journalfen, ( A very useful .jpg! )

*

Tonight's viewing is The Fifth Race, which is wonderful, wonderful, except for the unmistakable evidence that Daniel doesn't know a word of Latin. Ah well.

So, what do we think about Sam's birthday?

Prop canon -- December, as seen in Entity?

Or Orlin canon -- birthstone: emerald, therefore May?

I will not order delivery, I will cook a healthy meal. I will not order delivery, I will cook a healthy meal. I will not order delivery, I will cook a healthy meal. I will not order delivery, I will cook ...

I am ... kind of in hate with fandom today. You're all wonderful, dailyotter is wonderful, stargazercmc is especially wonderful, but the rest of it? Pffffft! Or, graphically stated:



*

I know I pronounced my printer dead a couple months back, but I've actually been tinkering with it, on and off. I got it to work the other day! I printed out an email from mrv3000! But then it fell over and died again, legs twitching in the air and everything. So I finally said screw it, and ordered a new one this morning. *twiddles thumbs for 3-5 days*

The only reason this might possibly matter to you is that I've found myself incapable of editing a difficult story without printing it out and cutting it up and spewing red ink all over it. (You too can avoid committing badfic with our new, cheap, magical cure: slash-and-burn editing!) And if you think I'm going to print out a Stargate story at Kinko's or at a client's office, you are more insane than I am.

*

ayiana2 linked to this interesting article about Cheyenne Mountain, which includes many pictures.

*

I watched Spirits recently. On the one hand, I like Tonane, and I like some lines, and I like aliens posing as gods for good instead of evil, and agreeing to reveal themselves at the end. On the other hand: ICK.

ETA: Okay, I should unpack that a bit: "Ick" because of the stereotypes, the noble savage, and a particularly egregious example of my least favorite Stargate social science fallacy, Hey, look, this culture has barely changed over the past 1,000 years, and therefore we can equate it to the earth culture without changing our assumptions at all! See also: Emancipation, Demons.

*

You've heard of frog falls, fish falls, ice falls, yes? There's a guy on my TV recounting the time he was "covered by a shower of hazelnuts." I would not object to that at all. Hazelnuts are expensive! (He noted that the strangest thing was that it happened in March, which as I'm sure we all know is at least six months too early for hazelnuts.)

OMG. For a few minutes there, when I was outside, I COULD SEE MY OWN SHADOW. That had better not mean it's another six weeks until summer.

*

Here are three more episodes of Little Mosque for those who watched the pilot (all 175ish MB zipped .avis):

102 The Barrier, in which Baber wants a barrier in the mosque, and Rayyan objects:
www.megaupload.com/?d=LGIDQ93D102

103 The Open House, in which Amaar plans an open house, and nobody can quite agree about how to introduce their neighbors to Islam:
www.megaupload.com/?d=WG1217DF

104 Swimming Upstream, in which Rayyan starts a petition to get a female instructor at the local pool so that the injured Fatima can join the Aqua Fit class:
www.megaupload.com/?d=NK5ACVR6

If you decide you like it, let me know (in a comment here or at my username at livejournal dot com) and I'll happily start a filter and upload them all. Really, I'm happy to share! The place where I ahem them is currently closed to new members. :(

*

Went kayaking last night in light rain, and it was peaceful and lovely. We saw a cormorant, a great blue heron, an osprey, something that might have been a night heron, and of course, a lot of seagulls.

I am trying to learn to identify more birds -- previously, my repertoire numbered about three -- and to that end, I bought a cheap bird feeder and some black oil sunflower seed to see who will show up. I've been waiting for a dry day to install the hardware on the porch so I can hang it. Today might be the day! Do any of you have bird feeders, and what kind of luck do you have?

So, the deal with cliche_bingo is this: you get a bingo card, you make bingos in the usual way (diagonally, vertically, horizontally), and if you post them before August 31, you get points, and you can ask for another card. The stories have to be at least 500 words and you can write in as many fandoms as you want.

I'm mainly treating it as a source of prompts, though I see one line on my card that looks particularly promising. But now I feel a little guilty for treating it as a source of prompts, because it was so much more popular than rheanna27 expected that she had to cut off entries at 400. There are a lot of people who got left out. So now I kind of feel like I have to produce a bingo to justify getting a card. Which is dumb, and is totally my issue, and harks back to my years as Perfect Perfectionist Student Who Must Justify Her Use of Other People's Time and Resources.

ANYWAY. ( Here's my card. )

Now accepting plot bunnies! If you give me one and I use it, I'll ... credit you in the A/N? Give you a virtual treat via my PB cup icon? Type out *smooooch* with a lot more Os? Or, hey! If you're inspired by one of my prompts, I'm not possessive or anything.

I do want to try to write something in a different fandom. It is only 500 words. Little Mosque on the Prairie, maybe, because a) I love it, and b) (this is important) I have all the episodes* so I can fulfill that neurosis that says I must know a show backwards and forwards before I can write for it. Arrested Development, which I also have, though S3 makes my brain go boom so I don't think I could tackle that. Possibly Sanctuary, now that I've watched the whole season? I recently re-mainlined the first series of Red Dwarf (see icon), so who knows.

* And if anybody would like to give LM a try, here is the pilot (zipped .avi, 177 MB). It gets even funnier as the season goes on. I'd be happy to provide more if I manage to convert any of you!

*

In other news, my favorite pair of jeans has a rip in an indecent place, and I am not exactly handy with a needle and thread, though I am going to attempt to patch them at some point. (Now accepting sewing advice also!) But it required going shopping for a new pair, which I am pleased to report fit me just right. And EVERYTHING WAS ON SALE, so I ended up with another pair of sporty capris for hiking and kayaking and some cute shirts. Which was not part of my financial plan for this month, but what are you going to do? They were on sale!

*

It has been raining continuously here -- okay, a lot of it is drizzle, but IT IS ALL DARK AND GRAY -- for 40 days and 40 nights, and lo, the people of southern New England looked up to the skies, and said as one, "We are sick of this shit."

So I installed Safari 4.0 a few days back, and I've already done this five times:

I'm typing along in a text box, I do some keystroke wrong (which keystroke is still a mystery), and the entire window gets selected, including the tab bar and the toolbar. Then I can't unselect it, click on another tab, go to another window, access the menus, or quit. So I end up force quitting and then I have to load all zillion tabs again and it's a pain in the ass.

Obviously, this is user error here, and I'm sure that whatever it is they changed has some miraculous use if you use it correctly. If only I knew what the error was so I could stop!

Off to the Apple forums for me.

*

I ... had something to say about Stargate, but I've forgotten what it was.

*

I got to see the Chess Great Performances yesterday. It was great in some places and not-so-great in others. Most of all I hate that they leave out the song Argument in Act 2, when Florence and Anatoly fight about watching Svetlana arrive on the news. Without that song Florence felt more like a pawn to me. Now, part of the point is that she *is* being used as a pawn by Freddie and the Russians, but I like a Florence who fights back against being used, who has her own thoughts and opinions -- as she does Act 1. Combined with Idina Menzel's rather laid-back performance, it seemed like all the personality Florence had in Act 1 disappeared in Act 2, leaving just a cardboard cutout.

The guy who played Freddie -- whatshisname from Rent, I should know his name -- was excellent, I thought. Kerry Ellis was great as Svetlana, which I think is a difficult part to play. Josh Groban was Josh Groban. He always sounds the same to me. And Menzel ... terrific voice, great actress, deserved her Tony, but just decent as Florence.

And speaking of which ... I seem to have lost Rent. I went to listen to it just now (while I go search the Apple forums) and it is not there. Hmm.

*

I signed up for cliche_bingo. It's not a ficathon, really! It's just a bunch of prompts! There are no deadlines! Or so I tell myself. Also, my two-month-late sjficathon is making some progress. Emphasis on the "some."

This is in response to stargazercmc's post noting that the musical Chess was on Great Performances last night. For anyone who's curious, here is the original recording of Chess from 1984, two years before it premiered in London. It stars Elaine Paige (yes, Susan Boyle's Elaine Paige) as Florence, Murray Head (yes, ASH's brother) as the American (=Freddie in the stage productions), and Tommy Körberg as the Russian (=Anatoly). You'll recognize the 80s hit "One Night in Bangkok," which makes a hell of a lot more sense if you know the story!

www.megaupload.com/?d=HEWM81HI
(106.92 MB zip file)

If you've only heard the Broadway version and were not impressed, give this one a try. It's much better. Elaine Paige is simply amazing.

If you're new to Chess, you might want to read the plot synopsis while you listen. It's full of Cold War conflicts, plus! UST/Romance/Angst between Florence and the Russian! In particular, it might help to know that Florence was born in Hungary and her father disappeared in the 1956 uprising, something the American refers to in the song "Florence Quits," and that Molokov, the Russian's second, is a KGB agent.

ETA: Here are the lyrics, including the synopsis from the original liner notes.

Please feel free to share the Megaupload link without linking to this post. Thanks.

*

In other news, I had a great run yesterday and reached a new milestone for me. This means I'm allowed to bake cookies today. W00t.

When my younger sister got married, I couldn't go. I had the plane ticket and the outfit and everything, but I got horribly sick and the thought of getting out my front door, let alone to the airport, was too much for me.

Somehow her wedding came up in conversation today with my mother, I'm not sure how. The first thing you have to know is that my heathen sister married into an extremely conservative Catholic family (think Mel Gibson conservative). Well, according to my mother, just after the wedding, when the photos were being taken but the families weren't needed yet, my sister's father-in-law said, among my whole family, "Now she has to quit working and start making babies." (Which is something we knew his family wanted, but to hear it said outright like that was, I imagine, unpleasant.) And somehow that segued into "Can you believe people kill babies?" And then into all sorts of other things suggesting a woman's body is not her own, said in a way that took for granted that everyone around him believed the same. My mother told me that she stayed put and plastered a smile on her face, my stepfather (socially liberal, fiscally conservative) crept away (chicken!), my brothers were rolling their eyes out of view of the new father-in-law, and "Even your (other) sister kept her mouth shut." I mean, you have to be polite at weddings and make nice with the new in-laws, right? (Too bad he didn't think that way.)

I had never heard this story before and I said, "Wow, for the first time I'm glad I wasn't there." Because I don't think I would have been able to keep my mouth shut. Or possibly, considering the stress level I was working under at the time, avoid just opening my mouth and screaming incoherently in anger.

Aside: Generally, when you meet a conservative from elsewhere in the country and tell him/her that you're from Massachusetts, they assume one of two things: 1. that you are a Kennedy-loving commie and should be committed, 2. that you hate the Kennedy-loving commies and are as confused as the conservative is about why they keep getting elected. (A: They keep getting elected because we keep voting for them.) (1) would have been the better assumption in this case. Though the best assumption would, of course, have been, 3. this is not an appropriate conversation to have at this time.

My sister did, in fact, quit working, but she's genuinely happy with that decision. Then she had #3 Niece and #5 Nephew and swore that was all she was going to have, but her husband talked her into having another, who is due this fall. Which, hey, we'll all be thrilled to have more kids to dote on, but. It really wasn't her decision.

*

But anyway. What I actually wanted to get at was this. After reading cereta's wonderful post and 1500 comments (because after 1500 I had to tear myself away and actually get crap done in my life), plus a whole lot of posts and articles the commenters linked to, I was crossing the street to go to a restaurant with my mother this afternoon and some idiot slowed down in his car to ogle us and whistle. So I thought we might discuss the issue of street harassment a little, * but no. My feminist mother does not believe that whistling and catcalling and all are a problem or even sexist, because "That's the way it's always been since the beginning of time."

I was just boggled. Now, she's a second-wave feminist, and she's been growing less angry about sexism as she's gotten older. I don't know, maybe you have to do that just to survive in our culture, or at least some women do? Or maybe she just doesn't get third-wave feminism, which would not make her the first second-wave feminist to run into that wall, or she needs to think that the guys harassing me are not a problem so she won't worry about my safety. But seriously, I get unwanted male attention every day, multiple times a day (living in the city as I do, and walking everywhere as I do), no matter where I am or what I'm wearing or whether I've put makeup on or washed my hair yet, and that bears no relation to sexism? She admitted that it could be uncomfortable and scary, but "Life's just like that." I -- what? Do I know you, woman?

She did seem to be in quite the Emily Gilmore mood today in general, though. Because later during our lunch we did our usual compare and sympathise on medical issues (shut up. you'll do this too someday), and instead of responding to me with, "Wow, that sucks" or even, "Have you tried this?" she said, "Well, everybody has problems." Which is ... not sympathetic.

And we'd been getting along so well lately, too.

I think I need to either eat chocolate, or go for a run.

* P.S.: "I'm a guy and I'm not like that!" is neither a sympathetic nor a helpful response to anything on those links, or to my comments about sexism here, just as "I'm white and I'm not like that!" is never appropriate when PoC are discussing racism. If you don't understand why, start at the first link and keep reading.

Ohmigod. OHMIGOD. I had to take my MacBook in to replace a part today and they TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME from 10am to 6pm. OHMIGOD. I had the DTs, I swear. I was like Linus, people. Like Linus!

*hugs MacBook* I ♥ you, MacBook! I will never let you out of my sight again!*

* Except, you know, for when I leave the house and stuff. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, NEVER!

What ultimately happened to the mimic devices from Foothold? Were they destroyed after ... whatever episode that was where the NID had stolen them from Area 51? Oh, Smoke and Mirrors. Were they ever mentioned again?

Responses will likely be used for evil, if that affects your answer.

There was no Walden today, alas. There was instead rain and bibimbap and the following exchanges with my health care provider(s):

Pharmacy: Your prescriptions aren't going through. It says you're not enrolled. Do you have a new number?
Insurance: You're enrolled. It's fine. Nothing's changed. It's fine! I said it's fine, no I can't check another screen, hang up now, lady!
Me: May I speak with a manager?
Insurance: *puts me on hold until they think a suitable time has passed then conveniently disconnects me*

Pharmacy: Nope, still not going through. I'll call them and get back to you.
Pharmacy: Yeah, they told me your insurance was cancelled two days ago.

Insurance: I don't believe they actually said it was cancelled. (As in, "The pharmacy must be lying to you because we don't make mistakes around here.") You're still enrolled. It's fine. Nothing's changed.
Me: For the record, I trust the pharmacy a lot more than I trust you maroons. I'm just saying.
Insurance: We'll call the pharmacy and tell them it's fine.
Pharmacy: No, sorry. Still not fine.

(You will of course recall that I visited my favorite emergency room last weekend, where, in fact, the insurance really was fine.)

I was so frustrated afterwards that I went across the street to Whole Foods and bought a (big) slice of (vegan) chocolate cake, which I proceeded to wolf down right then and there. Whoops. And then I went to engage in some retail therapy, but luckily, REI was out of what I went there for. Phew.

*

My obsession this week is Soap. I found the first five episodes and started watching to see if it was as funny as I remembered, and it's funnier. Much, much funnier. As evidence, I give to you the following:



Should that not be enough to satisfy your needs, please continue on to witness:
Police Interview Part 1
Police Interview Part 2

If you want more after that, I will happily point you towards ahems.

Aside from the emergency room and the excessive amounts of albuterol I've sucked down, I had a near-perfect holiday weekend. It involved: walking six miles two different times; running along the river (which I usually don't do because it adds an extra 30-45 minutes on either end of the run); kayaking on a gorgeous, sunny morning; napping; sitting on my back porch; betaing anr's latest SG story;* not getting sunburned; watching the parade; ingesting a lot of falafel and a lot of sorbet (not at the same time). It did not involve: doing dishes (meep) or going grocery shopping (meep), both of which I ought to attend to now.

I've been invited to run at Walden next weekend, which would be lovely except that I could only do 2mins run/2mins walk (x 10) this morning. Damn pollen. I'm hoping that will improve some in the next few days so I won't humiliate myself. (Come on, steroids, get your act together!) Whether it improves or not, I will also do some trailwork (karma=+1) and some more paddling.

Sitting in the kayak for hours this weekend did not hurt my knees! Joy! It did however hurt my hips. Must. Stretch. Moar.

Am now lying on top of my bed in that ridiculous state where I'm too exhausted to get up and get ready for bed. Wish me luck.


* And on the theory that some newer SG converts might not remember her, and some older fans have wandered off, anr's story The World Asunder is a very good read. I betaed it, but I did so quite haphazardly, so I can't possibly claim any credit. Sam/Jack action-adventurish, friendship/UST, Absolute Power, but don't let that put you off if, like me, you're not crazy about the episode.

Oh, I have had a day.

So I have asthma, right? It's normally no bother. I can go for weeks without needing an inhaler. But lately, between the crazy pollen and the crazy yo-yo weather, I've needed the thing every time I work out, which is every day, which is bad. So like a good asthmatic, I called the doctor's office and said, "I'm using my albuterol too much; I need to go back on the serious shit." And they said, "We can't see you for a week and a half." And I said, "That's fine, it's not an emergency." Well, naturally, it got worse and worse until I saw my doctor yesterday, because asthma tends to do that, and the albuterol had mostly stopped working and was running out anyway. But I figured I'd have two prescriptions in my hands within a few hours, and it'd be fine. Only it wasn't, because the health center never sent the fax to the pharmacy, on the day before a long weekend. Long story short(ish), I ended up in the emergency room this afternoon for lack of breathing. And despite the amount of time I spend there (er*) it's not my favorite place.

My health center has just merged into another one (as in, it was my doctor's first day at the new office) so I'm not surprised there was confusion, but it's not like we're talking about a prescription for an acne face wash here. Anyway. I'm fine, I have drugs, I walked quite a bit later (slowly) and was okay. I'm going to try a short run tomorrow and see how it goes. (My swim yesterday involved almost as much stopping as swimming.)

On the plus side, my doctor either remembered me this time, or did a good job faking it. (Hey, I'm not picky.)

And I'm turning off comments, because I'm just here to vent.

* Doctor, yesterday: "At some point you might want to update your tetanus." Me: "Oh, no, I had one the second-to-last time I went to the emergency room spurting blood."