comm troy escape goat

the annals of the nandaverse

(the goat should not have to put up with this shit.)

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fucking moooooooooooooooo
comm troy escape goat
nandamai
Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Badfic
by nanda and some small dogs who would probably prefer to remain anonymous.
  1. It's not great sex until somebody cries.

  2. You can't really be in love if you don't have a baby and/or beagle.

  3. Men are just women with penises.

  4. Rape isn't wrong if it's twue wuv.

  5. Women always come first.

  6. It's always a good sign when something starts throbbing.

  7. Humans mainly communicate in paragraph-long speeches.

  8. Tampons are a turn-on.

  9. Canon and those who write it exist only to thwart OTPs.

  10. Never say something just once when you can say it two or three times, because more words are always better. Always.

  11. Staring longingly at each other for several seasons constitutes a deep and meaningful commitment.

  12. Any plot can benefit from the addition of a misunderstanding or seven.

  13. Men can always get it up.

  14. Women are always squeamish about their periods.

  15. Male friends all really just want to get into each other's pants.

  16. Relationship problems are always the woman's fault, especially when the man is hawt.

  17. Hot sex cures all angst.

  18. Pets like to watch their owners go at it omg.

  19. Everybody is a virgin until we have on-screen evidence to the contrary.

  20. Butter is the perfect lube.

  21. The End.

P.S. My hair looks FANTASTIC.

P.P.S. I am way too excited to get my ficathon assignments. Eeee.

P.P.P.S. I have peanut butter cups.

Tampons are a turn-on.

Damn you! I now have a butter replacement. *gags* I swear if you ever get a tampon icon, I will unfriend you.

*pets boingy hair*

LPets like to watch their owners go at it omg.

Omg. OMG. OMFFFFG.

Never say something just once when you can say it two or three times, because more words are always better. Always.

*looks at what I wrote above* Oh, shit. :(

Butter is the perfect lube.

BUTTER.

HAHAHA!

P.P.S. I am way too excited to get my ficathon assignments. Eeee.

Can I point back at this and laugh about a day after you get them and/or a week before they're due?


YES.

Michelle's sure who I'm going to get already anyway. :D

Ooh, she is? Can she tell me? :)

Men can always get it up.

Ooooh, yes. *Especially* right after being raped, when receiving blowjobs of gentle healing. *rolls eyes*

Of course! Because of #17 and all.

(Sex is always the answer! Whenever somebody asks you a question, just say, "Sex!")

(Sex is always the answer! Whenever somebody asks you a question, just say, "Sex!")

Damn you; the nun who runs the building I work in just asked me what I wanted to serve at the next board meeting.

I think I might be fired now. :-(

Hahahahaha

Gawd, that was great. You are pure genius!

*still laughing my ass off*

Male friends all really just want to get into each other's pants.

HELL YES!

Except for Lex and Clark. They are the only exception on this planet or any other.

OMFG. I seriously was just about blowing my Dasani out my nose.:)

This is brilliant.

Humans mainly communicate in paragraph-long speeches.

Perfect. On so many levels...

Never say something just once when you can say it two or three times, because more words are always better. Always.

**Stupid Giggling Fit Ensues**

Any plot can benefit from the addition of a misunderstanding or seven.

The "Three's Company" school of plotting!*g*

Everybody is a virgin until we have on-screen evidence to the contrary.

Which implies no kind of Mary Sue-ing at all, I'm sure...;)

OMG! *dies* (butter? lube? oh say it isn't so)

Love the list :)

(butter? lube? oh say it isn't so)

Oh, but it is. :( Hence the icon.

Sadly, yes. Okay, only once. But it's not something you're likely to forget. MEEP.

And *smooch*.

8. Tampons are a turn-on.

*SQUICK*

One of my college roommates referred to them as "corks". 'Nuff said.

If you ask nicely I'll quote you the relevant badfic lines!

Okay, I'm just as likely to do it if you beg me not to.

It's always a good sign when something starts throbbing.

Oh, God, now you're bringing back memories of the Slashfic with Jack's Pulsating Ass. Alas, I don't think I could find the parody version now. But it was funny!

Butter is the perfect lube.

*blinks*

Um. Okay. I'm afraid to even ask for more clarification.

Clarified butter is something else entirely. Really good with lobster, though.

That is not, in fact, all that high up on my icky-lube-in-fic list. It just happens to be the icky lube that traumatised Michelle and thus amuses the hell out of me.

21. The End.

Butbutbut it never actually ends! *cries* There's always "omg, 'cuz your all s0 cool and luvd my fic sooooo much, i decidd to writ a seqeul!"

Apart from that, though, your list is spot on. *smooches you silly*

P.P.S. I am way too excited to get my ficathon assignments. Eeee.

*considers panicking* Oh, the pressure...

Though I am tempted to be really, really evil so that you WILL fly down and visit me kick my ass. *eyes spare bedroom*

Male friends all really just want to get into each other's pants.

If only!

Hot sex cures all angst.

It's a code I live by.

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